______________________________

Deleting

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 22:59:19 GMT

I'm deleting this journal so, if you wish, you may add this one.
I've held on to these memories for too long.[Not matter how recent they may be.]
That wasn't meant as sad as it sounds. Hahaha.

http://users.livejournal.com/amandaabnormal

Sat, 03 Jun 2006 18:52:45 GMT

http://ohnorocknroll.livejournal.com

new journal

Thu, 01 Jun 2006 04:03:42 GMT

http://ohnorocknroll.livejournal.com

eff this.

Sun, 21 May 2006 23:32:46 GMT

Nobody likes me.
Everybody hates me.

Blah blah blah.
People suck.

Oh, my little zombie girl.

Sun, 14 May 2006 07:44:34 GMT

She's the walking dead.
Oh, my little zombie girl.
Can't get her out of my head.

Sat, 22 Apr 2006 08:56:07 GMT

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles brusied by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

Then I'll follow you into the dark

my livejournal entries don't make sense.

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 06:29:40 GMT

"Standing in the darkness and theres a light.."

"Somebody,somebody. Help her, help."

"She's got a gun, she's got a knife.."

"She'll rip your heart out, baby!"

"I'll love you until my last breath takes you from me."

"My throats raw from screaming and I haven't said a word."

"Everybody wants to know your name and they're thinking of the perfect words to break the ice.."

"I'll be better when I'm older."

"Trapped by pretty eyes..."

"I hope its something worth the waiting. Its the only time that I ever feel real."

"And never will I give up trying cause you're everything to me."

"Theres no silence, safe inside of yourself, like a fireball."

"Will you even remember me or am I just a voice?"

"You're pushing me..."

"I'll follow you into the dark."

"We've seen everything to see."

"I didn't care that you left and abandoned me, what hurts more is I would still die for you."

"I'm learning ways to not feel."

"I lose myself within your embrace."

"But before you go, to be held in your arms for one last time is not enough."

"This is the sound of angels falling down."

"I'd give you everything if I had something left."

"You got my knees because your body be the needle that spreads my thought disease!"

"I wanna rain down upon you with my hate!"

"We're living on the edge, now.."

Sun, 09 Apr 2006 15:01:17 GMT

\m/ETAL!

BIRTHDAY

Fri, 31 Mar 2006 14:18:02 GMT

IT'S MY BIRTHDAAAAYYYYYY! IT'S MY BIRTHDAYY!!!

Wed, 22 Mar 2006 01:15:35 GMT

I'm secretly sad.
Shhh! Don't tell anyone.

Gotcha!

A few words...

Sat, 11 Mar 2006 07:29:16 GMT

When it comes down to the human race, invisibilty is my strong suit.

Feelings: ?

Tue, 07 Mar 2006 00:43:04 GMT

Tired.
Lonely.
Hungry.
Stupid.
Lonely.

I need some amusement other than MySpace pleaseeee.
Thanks.

Mon, 27 Feb 2006 01:44:39 GMT

I had a lot of fun this weekend. With a lot of interesting people.
Lets go day-by-day:

Friday: Woke up really earlier to meet Shane at the hotel so that we could get oue make-up done and get ready. Walked from the Best Western to OCCC. Which seemed like it took forever but maybe like 15 minutes. Got in, FREE[Thanks to Troma ^__^]. Took many pictures, scared many children. Passed out flyers.
Went back to hotel. Came home.

Saturday: Woke up not so early. Got ready at my house. Was in a bad mood. Got in. Walked around a lot. Passed out flyers. Tried to sell stickers. Ashley wore her fuzzy outfit this day. Not so many pictures. Walked back to the hotel. Got food. Went home. Went downtown. No nazis! Haha. Got into show, FREE[Thanks again!]. Saw amazing bands. Thee Obscene. Danced on stage. Fun times. Came home.

Today: Woke up not so early. Flipped out. Left around 1-ish, I think. Got in. Did absolutely nothing. Had some fun. Saw Jilly and "Fuzzy". Sat. Sat s'more. Got free movies. And walked to hotel. Got food. Now I'm home.

This weekend was awesome. Made some new friends. Met amazing people.

Right now, my feet hurt. Blisters. My whole body aches. I'm tired as hell.

I hope everyone else had fun. It was nice to see who I did see.

See you there.

Fri, 24 Feb 2006 12:28:54 GMT

Thu, 23 Feb 2006 03:39:01 GMT

My life is a mindless rollercoaster. Speeding ahead. But I have the power to stop it. I choose not to? No thats not it. I'd like to have my head on straight. I'd like to be in a more stable place but my lack of motivation seems to prevent me.
I feel completely unattached to reality. Thats not exactly what I was going for when I got out of high school.
Heres my list of goals I'd like to achieve after this weekend:
-grow eyebrows back [yea yea.. ha ha ha]
-find a job
-KEEP THE JOB
-look for schools/scholarships

There ya go, my life plastered on livejournal.
How elegant.

Sun, 19 Feb 2006 07:58:33 GMT

Ya know the feeling you get right before you know you're going to lose something very important to you?
I have that feeling now.
I've messed up. Again. I've played too many "games".
I just don't wanna lose my best friend.
I'm sorry everything I've done to upset you. I know I'm probably wrong but thats how I feel.
I don't wanna lose you.
Please. Give me another chance.

Mon, 06 Feb 2006 05:39:53 GMT

Somebody, somebody.
Help her, help.

Tue, 24 Jan 2006 20:22:59 GMT

I have a heartache.

ugh.

Wed, 11 Jan 2006 01:32:56 GMT

Jack, this is impossible. I can't see you.

Rose, you're no picnic... you're a spoiled little brat even, but under that you're a strong, pure heart, and you're the most amazingly astounding wonderful gi-- women I've ever known and--

Jack, I--

No wait. Let me try to get this out. You're amazing... I’ve got ten bucks in my pocket and I know I have nothing to offer you, Rose. I know that. But I'm involved now. You jump, I jump, remember?
I can't turn away without knowin' that you're goin' to be alright.

You're making this very hard. I'll be fine. Really.

I don't think so. They've got you in a glass jar like some butterfly, and you're goin' to die if you don't break out. Maybe not right away, 'cause you're strong. But sooner or later the fire in you is goin' to go out.

It's not up to you to save me, Jack.

You're right. Only you can do that.

I have to get back, they'll miss me. Please, Jack, leave me alone.

i'm a diva.

Mon, 26 Dec 2005 21:51:31 GMT

i had this whole entry planned out about how i feel and how everything is but i decided that you should just look at my myspace.
haha.

no subject.

Wed, 14 Dec 2005 18:46:27 GMT

sometimes life can seem so tragic. and other times life is full of joy and happiness.
but most of the time it's just tragedy and misery, it's disgusting.
i try and try again to keep myself from being unhappy but every now and again i slip and i know everyone slips. not everyone can be happy all the time. but i used to be.
i don't know what it is to make me write this entry but i wrote it and now it's over.

to you, kiddo.

Sat, 10 Dec 2005 22:25:27 GMT

i will be the end of you and your dreams and hopes.

goodbye.

be respectful and you will get respect back.
treat me like shit.. i will then treat you like shit.
remember most of the time i am unforgiving.

i have NO regret.

welcome home shitface.
sleep well.

everything seems so sad today.

Tue, 15 Nov 2005 04:01:08 GMT

everyone felt so sad.
except for maybe ashes.
we were happy together.
we ate lunch and some ice cream and then she left.
then i think heather was sad. and tracy got sad.
and sadness just seemed to seep in through my skin.

but i cried and got it over with.
i feel better.

i wish i could see someone right now.
bah.

shut your fucking mouth.

Fri, 11 Nov 2005 23:44:53 GMT

i'm a sick, sad little girl that wants everything easy. everything handed to her. i fuck up like this every now and then and regret living each day the way i live it. i have too many issues for anyone to understand. but i do understand a few things.
i have people who care about me deeply.
i am not as ugly as i think i am.
i can overcome all the bullshit that goes through my head everyday.
and i am happy.
and life doesn't suck.

i have new, colorful hair.
and i wish i could see you in the worst way.
everything will get better. i promise.

roller coaster.

Thu, 03 Nov 2005 21:41:57 GMT

life is getting way too complex.
i need to just calm down and relax.
i need to think about what i really want/need.
and i need to realize that making idiot decisions will not get me anywhere.
and being sad all the time will not get me anywhere.
i don't need everyone's attention to survive. i'll be fine with what i have.

looking back on what i thought was wisdom was just depressed thought and i was just tormenting myself with meaningless babble.
i knew nothing then, i know nothing now. and i've decided [with time and thought] i will be a better person for myself and everyone else.